I am so tired.

Another garden today… cleared and partly dug.

Train goes by.

Painted the base coast on a bunch of secret art projects. And found out some tools are too weak for the job. Drank and worked from Dawn to Dusk.

Me so tired. Me so not horny.

This place is looking so fucking great. I wish I knew then what I know now. So it goes.

I looked in the mirror today. So strange to see me in the mirror.
I look weirdly young without my beard. Except for the crinkles around my eyes when I smile and laugh, I look like a kid.
I gotta grow my beard back fast. My face freaks me out.

I did find a way to go back in time sortof. It isn’t perfect.
It is easier to jump into the future.

I pray to god, wondering what will happen. But I am the only god who listens to me… and that god is not sympathetic a listener to prayers.

One Rule when you own lots of land. Make lots of trails to all parts of it. Hmmm…. actually that should be important but I guess more basic stuff needs to be first… but trails are very important.

And you can train workers to cut a trail along the same level… like a topographical map line… like a terracing line….
All the land should get cut and cute with these. People can walk far at the same level.

Here it reduces the risk of forest fire since the fires burn low in the needles of the fur trees fallen to the ground. So trails reduce forest fire risk. This is a dry place, like the east side of the cascades. (Cascades mountains in Washington state, USA. Plus, when you make trails then you find cool places. Places where a special bird nests, places with cool rocks, place with old trees.
Place to use, places to protect.

If you read one book in the bible…

I suggest ecclesaistes.

A lot of the other ones are boring.

The day has gone very well.
Up early and insane.
Off to do things right and… all went right. No injuries. It was a simple thing.
I am thinking more and more about the genetics for the last two years. And combining all the thoughts I have read.

I am making a genetic liferaft. And perhaps a genetic boat.
Near natives are the current project…. meaning… they don’t grow right here… but there near native plants are from down the road 10 miles in some microclimate….
In other words…. these plants represent the genetic diverse points of this region in general. Climate chance will alter the topography of the factors which allow native plants to live where they do… Plants will die.. plants will slowly blend over into the new similar climate zone, if any… if not… they will die out in that region.

The idea is to get more tiny pockets….. and microsclimate should be filled with diversity. Nearby diversity that wanted to be there anyway..
Changes of invasiveness are very very low since the plants are genetic friends over the climate changes of the last several climate changes.
I am force planting some of that diversity… into nearby neighborhoods. Infecting compatible life into spots where it will be happy.

Also… domesticaing plants…
I am also evaluating which plants are pretty or useful in pots. Mostly just randomly collecting plants here which are common and seeing how they do in pots. Generally I am against potted plants… but perhaps I can find some which need no care and are human compatible or inspiring.

There is a danger that if a plant is domesticated and valuable, then locals will rob it from the wild and sell it too people who do not replicate it.
Anyone who takes plants from the wild must be replicating the heck out of them….
If you are going to take from a place… you should help it. Duh.
You should reproduce the plant for the home market so that you can undercut the effort it takes to collect it, and if you sell to the home market… then you should teach you customers how to propogate.
Any nursery which sells native plants should teach people how to propogate their native plants.

Blah blah…
The guys are all out planting the collected plants. I am inside writing this.
Back outside.
Yay!

I always liike terraforming.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terraforming

OR… as I was thinking…..

Utoforming.. making the environment fit well with us in all ways. With understanding and foresight. Understanding that plants are a part of our body and we must care for them well. That is a human-centric way of thinking.. dangerous in any case no matter what… but we are the game in town and Utoforming could be the way to go.
Can with dance with all that is in the universe… well… we dance in any case… can we dance better?

Brian says: Never take a loan for anything. Never take one.
Debts are the most popular path to slavery.
The similarity between a debtor and a lender…. and a thief… is strong. Lending, borrowing and thieving are similar games.
Let us instead all be strong. Build a culture which supports creating, giving. No bullshit though. All people must create heavily. How many slaves are we in what ways?

We don’t have that culture now.

I am spinning along and seeing. Each day. You just wouldn’t fucking believe it.
It is an amusing movie as it goes along. You would not fucking believe the cultural ways. And of course I utterly twist those who visit me. I live in their intense moments of whatever they and this place happens to them.

The place is making amazing progress.

THE RAINS CAME! (some) WANT MORE!

Some great new photos to share soon!

See you in the future.

Was up at 7:30 am this morning. Went to set. Back a little late for date, then another date, back to the set bringing date.
Then off to another set. Off to Coyoacan for another date… bought a really nice alpaca sweater. YAY! I used to have one I really liked and this one is even prettier.
Then back to the set…
I am getting back to the main set at 6 am. And I need to be up at 8:30 am to go off to another set.
I should get some time tommorrow to finish the symbol for the religion in the movie… actually the symbol is all done but I am going to improve the painting around it.
And I need to compile the various exorcism elements and incorporate the special stuff… making up a religion.
It is quite believable… kinda a fung shui for christianity.
Designing your house to keep out demons.

The set has been repainted a pretty mottled blue. My paintings will be props.

And Tueday will be the hardest day of acting in my life. Very important to do well. Hard to get the mix of intense, real and insane.
I will try various interpretations tommorrow with my video camera.
The producer is a cool well connected guy and seems to like me. I told him I might be interested in other gringo parts.

For now I am alone here on the set. All windows open to let paint fumes out. No power or water. No heat and it is cold here It is less comfortable here than in the forest. And I haven’t had a shower in three days (I still look good on camera though.) and I am kinda tired out. I have only gotten about 7 hours free in the last week, but it is all pretty fun and I am learning a lot about how to act for the camera.

You wouldn’t believe todays shoot. trippy shit. Papa Ubu from a french play but in military garb seduce/oppressing aztec princes in a big empty theatre. There is person in a goofy near outfit too. I hope it flies. Does a bear shit when it flies over the woods?

I did take photos of the odd scenes. Will upload when not totally zooming.

If my part in the film isn’t totally embarassing, I want to get it into the Seattle film gestival so my friend can see it. I do get a copy of the film on DVD afterwards.

Mexico City is becoming less weird for me. I drive around in my van overloaded with film equipment. Luckily the police to not seem to notice me yet. I guess I can handle Mexico City at least for the moment. The director and producer cast and crew take good care of me when they think ahead at all. They seem to like me. People say my name when they pass me for some reason. Come to think of it, people in Morelia say my name too. “Brian Fey” Why do they do that?

Time to fall down.
Need to be up in two hours.

Sitting on cute hill I began reading Utopia by Thomas More in the late day sun.
Thomas More was a friend of Vasco de Quiroga who was put in charge of this area by spanish authorites after the spanish conquest.
And Vasco de Quiroga, regarded as a hero in the area, used the utopian principles in setting up many of the social systems for the little towns in the Lake Patzcuaro region. The result was a great level of independance and cultural survival for the purepecha indians here.

Hmmmmm… as before I am not enjoying the old language of the book….
Ancient style. Ick.

I just want the meat… so I just printed out 20 pages of cliff notes on it and will read that with a highlighter to get the good stuff.
http://www.bookrags.com/notes/uto/

Spend an hour or so this morning reading up on purepecha spirituality. In a great academic book on it based largely on the earliest writings by spanish fransiscans and some other good sources.
Really interesting philosopies of polytheism, pantheism and notions of chaos and order. Some fit very nicely with my thought and even my art.
This is such a spiritual place. Long history of intensity around this lake.

I think I will have some of the local spirituality guide the construction of a temple, sundial on Cute Hill.

http://www.google.com.mx/search?hl=en&q=purepecha&btnG=Google+Search

Packing frenzy. I shut down the utilities starting soon.

Hot and sweaty day. Scrouging guy is taking the last of the free stuff. He has an eco-farm out on the peninsula and builds everything out of recycled stuff. Over the last weeks many dozens of people have come to take plants, objects etc. It has been very fun.

Art is all in storage. One guy wanted to buy one of the works on paper, but I don’t feel like unpacking them. Only a 5×3 foot painting of me is left. I think I might burn it before I go. This move will kill me and many of my ways. It will be a good thing.

I have been able to meet with so many people in the last two months. So many people I have affected. It has been a wonderful thing. I feel happy about the life I have had till now. And happy for the new one.

Packing gets harder towards the end. Deciding what goes where.
I expect to finish tonight.

All I can hope for it the the trip be safe. It will be a hard one. More difficult than I was expecting or wanting. But I guess I will roll with it and do the good things.
I have no doubts about the goodness of the move. This is the right thing to do now. It will spur great new personal developments for me and others.

Zoomachaka-zoom!

It is an unexpected pleasure that people come and are so dang happy when they pickup their art!

I am really happy that the art will go to people’s happy homes! It is a lovely thing. When I had thought about selling art, I mostly thought about it going away like it would be lost and gone and destroyed. But it is not that way at all. People are very happy and they will care for the art. I am glad to sell it to them. Yay!
Molly came to get her pieces yesterday and Helene too. Ultimately I like to make people happy. And apparently one of the benefits of making art is that people can really actually enjoy it. Weeee! I am very pleased.

Last night:
I can’t really write here about my life. It feels too public. But it was a super nice evening. Very pleasant muses. Smart nice etc. Quite productive. I danced around with the yay new one. We did some contact improv and both of us.. ignorant… found nifty ways to do it. It was cool. I need to do more physical dance type things. Each of them was a powerful woman in their strange ways. It felt the mix of playful and reserved and creation oriented thingys. I wonder what new muses think sometimes. Do they know they are critical to my process?
I worked on trying to finish a number of interesting paintings. I feel I am breaking into some new territories with composition and color and form. It is pretty trippy. There is:
-The broken face.
-The terminal phoenix doodle.
-the earthy doodle
-the alien dots

I should post some photos of these in progress.

The muses served well and had good times. I wonder what their experience is here. What do they feel and see? I know they have fun… but where are they? Where am I? What is this strange bubble of reality we are in for a time? Are they well served?

I did some very good Brian-style counseling with a new muse the other night. I was pleased. She will take the words of mine she likes and ignore the rest… She is in some pretty intense and critical states it sounds like. I am pleased that I could offer some food for her thought and life.

I am kinda still overwhelmed…
Impending reality. Sometimes it matters. I need to work harder to make the next 4 weeks go well. These will be the most intense 4 weeks for me. I am running towards the edge to dive off a cliff… I will find what is there waiting for me at the bottom.

I need to prep some art and art tags for my show down in Pioneer Square on Thursday evening. I wish someone else would do this stuff for me.
I didn’t get much sleep. Maybe it is time to go back to bed. Arg! Arg!

I feel I am not getting enough stuff done. Arg!

I feel I am looking out into the darkness…
I remember once on a bicyle trip to california. I was 15? Summer? Me and Erik K. biked to California… Freedom for youth… adventure. Somehow I ended up in a feild under a dark New moon. Carrying a torch made from an oil soaked rag on a stick. The wind was fast and whipping the flames. Somewhere in Oregon in a feild in the dark. And it felt like my life. My light and understanding are so limited. I only see the area right around me… and the sillouette of some tree in the dark dark. And the wind curls around me. And I am almost lost. And the only light my bike has is the flashlight I hold as I ride. But for now I am just a young man in a field. Existential. Not lost because I can see with flickering light the eart around me. A plowed field. the beautiful earth…. and I have this torch..
That night and torch burned that simple image into me.
Existential.
I think it took me so long to understand what that word meant because it is so pervasive a part of my experience. I am the moment… and also the largest scale… but I am missing the middle. The cultural niceties. The many middles.
I am flawed. And At least one man would ay I am bad. And so I am.

Weeeee!