Never know what will happen day to day.  The van, aka van gogh, is still dead… I don’t know what to do.  Transmission is dead.

We talk at night over beers. People are all so strange in the way the see the world and the way they mix. Interesting minds.

Plants are going in the ground today. Gardens being prepared. No one day of such work seems so important, but it adds up over time. Seeing a baby walnut tree 8 inches tall makes a nice feeling in me.  Chilino tells me that there are more rare birds coming here now. I notice it too. I saw one I have never seen before while I was standing in a forest grove and trying to see the future of the space. Wondering where to plant trees. Wondering thinking imagining. I don’t have to do things perfectly, but I have to work all day every day in generally good directions.

Yesterday I painted in the studio while chatting with a nice muse…. not revolutionary work, but progress on some paintings which have taken a long time.I don’t know how to talk about the compositional relations I am playing with. I have no language to say it, but I guess it doesn’t matter. The painting will have its own life and it will be removed from mine.

Painting is the hardest and easiest thing. It is one of the few things I enjoy.

I wish I had some cheesecake. I would eat half a cheesecake and give you one piece. Maybe two if you really want it.

Nice little note in the mail:

Hi Brian
Saw your facebook photo album of some of your seattle paintings.  Thought I’d send you a picture of Holy Fire in case you’d like to add it.  I still love love love the painting!  People always compliment it when they come over.  I can still stare at it forever.
Hugs,
Anna

I wrote back:

I felt very happy when I was painting it and am very pleased with the composition. Now I am making some more complex things which interest me too… but the balance in Holy Fire is really what I like the most. There are many artistic adventures to have… but Holy Fire is what I would want to live with.

It is time to awaken the art monster!

I made a promise some years back to those who bought my art that I would keep painting.  I would continue to produce and develop my vision…. improving the value of the work they purchased as well.  Though mostly people buy my art simply because they enjoy it, I would like to make sure that their art investment grows over time.  I have not forgotten that promise to my clients and friends…. but I have not been painting enough to fulfill me or the promise.

The three years I lived alone here in the forest were hard…. I did not paint much… The other worlds were far away…    I still kept thinking and have sketchbooks with new designs. Recently as I have been painting I am finding that I can do some things which were difficult for me compositionally. Combining blobular with relation and symbol.

I have built the nice space to live in, I have food and cutie muses…  time to paint.

So painting is good. More painting. I have a backlog of thought. I will try to write about it, but I find it difficult to write about what I am doing compositionally.  Hmmm…. We shall see.

Not done yet.

I got one guy I have carve things… he seems to like it. I started him with a book with many pictures of one way to carve… like this photo…
Now he is using a dover clip art book of mythological creatures from cultures around the world which I like.

More photos here showing this guys style developing…. I give him little direction in hopes he will find his own ways.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianfey/tags/totem/

I think maybe sometime he will be able to make some strange totem poles.

Painted some. Hard to give myself over to explorations into ugliness seeking beauty.
I am beyond, far beyond the bad line. And now I have to deal with bad line, bad shape, bad color,…. but some of the work today make good things coming out of ugliness.
I do feel a little freer of technique. I gotta learn to play in new and deeper ways.

I lit a painting on fire with gasoline. Rarely has that been a good idea… and this time I am not sure yet. I like some breaks from the way. There was one good painting which has the eyes burned with a blowtorch. A nice person in Seattle bought it.

Fire is a very difficult art supply. I accidently drank a little gasoline. It doesn’t taste good.

My hand is flourescent orange and I have bright orange stripes on my arm.

I am somewhat pleased with the result of todays paint. My friend is right. I just gotta move paint and play.
Go go.

Good things will come.

I like the pretty colors.

Full set here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianfey/sets/72057594064430946/

for those if you who were wondering, these are time exposure shots done on the steet while wandering around mexico city at night. Then I enhance the colors.

Kinda fun and pretty though I guess there isn’t much other point to them.

Wow! What an interesting day and evening…

More stuff moving…

People came over tonight to get stuff…
though I haven’t had the art opening planned yet…
Some bought art.
I sold $3300 of art tonight. Wow! I haven’t sold art for over 10 years.
One person likes the newer simple structured stuff, another liked the older earthy stuff…… And another choose between a couple of the newer things.
We named some, signed them.
It feels good though very very very very strange to lose them.
There was interest in some of the older favorites of mine. But I was very inflexible on price for them.
I think that if that many sold without me trying I will do very well.

I also gave away and sold many objects. People were good at scavaging.
I gave away rocks which I love. Hard to do, but I know that they go to good peoples.

Excellent day!
Many more plants leaving the yard. Many truck loads of plants have gone out with many folks. I like that idea that the work I have done to make a yard full of cool plants benefits many.
I sent a mail to a garden club and have been contacted by over 20 people to take stuff. 6 or so were here today to get plants and some friends too.
H____ took a bunch of brewing stuff. A guy who has a small community with lots of homemade buildings on the Olympic Peninsula took some wood and other things. He was to salvage the house a lot.
I hope there is time at the end to allow for that.
And a friend visited. Quite effusive and gushing over the years of impact I have had on her life. I served as her introduction into new cultures. She liked the art. I tried to guide her some on her current pragmatic angst and uncertainlty… but I really had no solutions. I mostly just listened and we shared our ways and thoughts about the choices in life.
Intense talking.
Now I am tired. Sleepy.
Plant people come over tommorrow too….
and I need to continue the efforts to organize and get rid of stuff. I really need to get some idea of how much stuff I will be taking down.
Weeeeee!!!! This is a fun and strange process.

The place is now.
Total number of signatures is over a hundred. Each page much be signed.

I moved my 8 1×1 meter paintings in progress there last night. Finished after midnight. The road is harsh. There was little moon. Very dark.
How strange to think I will be living there soon. It is so far out there. Like an island.
I can hardly belive that I have done this.

My body feels good but beat up. Muscles sore. feet callosed and thrashed.

I bought gifts for the people we have been closest too me. Very rare for me to buy gifts, but I found good ones for each of them. I am pleased.

I have some lonely times ahead. Dismantle Seattle life. Sell and give away almost all. There are a couple hundred people I want to meet with before I return to Mexico. Much work and focus needed.

Today I will move the last of my objects here to prep to return.
And might try to find contractor who can replace both houses roofs when I return. No to make some livable spaces for people to come. I wonder if they can really do the roofs in the rainy season?
Out of cash. So much outflow in deal and strange living that the ATM can´t keep up. Couldn´t pay the owner some money, but should be caught up today.